Posted in Opportunity, Reflection

When Opportunity Knocks

 

springtimeHave you ever been offered an opportunity that you knew deep down you could do, but were scared out of your mind because you’ve never done it before? Well, recently I have found myself in that position. Because of the Anxiety Disorder, I have a hard time remembering things…important things usually. Because of this, I try to shy away from things where I am supposed to remember numbers, dates, etc. and sometimes that means not apply to a job or volunteering for something I know I could do if it was or AD. In an effort to pursue authenticity, honesty, and my purpose, I have begun to start stepping out, and when I begin to become anxious…well, I just use the techniques my counselors and psychiatrists have shown me.

Recently I began helping an outreach that I have volunteered for in the past, and I was asked to help with the music/dance portion of it. Now, I always loved this part of the program because it not only taught the children about the Bible, but it was fun and got them moving. The problem I have is, I don’t know if I can remember all the moves, and I guess you can say I’m afraid of messing up. The funny thing is someone once taught me a mantra, “Do it afraid!” and I recently read a book that spoke of the very same thing. So what do you do when opportunity is knocking and you are afraid you won’t live up to the expectations? From what I am learning, I just need to open the door. That’s it. Open the door, and take each moment one step at a time. Alone with this, I have learned to talk to God and trust Him to help me. You may think this as weak of me, but guess what? I am, and if you were honest, so are you. We all lean on and trust in something or someone, I just choose to lean on the one person who can actually help me.

So as I begin to take this step into the unknown, I hold on to hope and shift my focus from myself to helping those in the outreach. When I do this, I know that God will be there with me each step of the way, and in the end those I am serving will appreciate it…besides, as long as I don’t say anything, they won’t even know I was freaking out. I mean let’s be honest, most times we are scared and think people are judging our every move, the fact of the matter is they could care less what we are doing or not doing. I know that sounds harsh but honestly, most people are so wrapped up in their own stuff they barely take time to worry about what others are doing. So why not just take that step, open that door, and say yes to Opportunity?

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Until next time,

Angie

 

 

Posted in Life, Reflection

Stuck in a rut

 

red car on muddy road near trees
Photo by ahmad syahrir on Pexels.com

 

Have you ever felt stuck in a rut? Much like the picture above, there have been so many moments in my life where I find I am stuck, just waiting on something or someone so I can pursue my dreams. I don’t know about you, but for me, I have had to fight tooth and nail for things in my life. Whether it is peace, joy, acceptance, a job, proper education, to get bills paid(debt gone), it has been a true fight. I have hope one day I will be able to achieve my dreams, but let’s be honest here, it can be tiring…and really wears me down. I try to help those around me through words of kindness and love, use this blog and my other social media outlets to reach those whom could benefit from things I have been through and such, and try to make friends with people that I can hang out with other than on Sunday mornings….all from what I can tell is to no avail. Am I speaking to anyone other than me? Well, if not then maybe I can write to my 50-something year old self and remind her to keep holding on, and one day it will get better. I mean, I have things to be thankful for, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I wish I could be doing what I was called to do. When will my time come? I can believe till my believer is broken, but when will I get to see some fruit from my hard work? Until I see that day, I take every day one minute at a time, shut up in my house studying and focusing on verses to help me stay positive, I encourage others on Sunday and through social media, and I just make it through the year having not lost my sanity. This may not be a very positive post, but it is the real me –  and at least I can say I have done that…been true and honest to myself.